MIA - one drunken dwarf

[Glen]

Lost!
I drunken dwarf.
Sings badly.
Smells funny.
Missing, presumed eaten!

[masterdecoy]

Lol, its all adams fault

[kaine241984]

yeah adams fault not kaine
damn priest keep dieing around me for some reason
how am i every going to unite the churches when that happens

[krootmerc]

mia i think not
the first place you should be looking is the pub.
then the jail cells.
and if worst comes to worst seek me in heaven. GOD knows hell rejected me

[kaine241984]

Movie Quote Powers
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Many of us already do this around the table—make up variant names for our powers (the ranger's claws of the griffon becomes claws of Kathy Griffin; the warlord's steel monsoon becomes Gorilla Monsoon). In many cases, these new power names and their application are tied to movie quotes (as everything around the table gets tied, inevitably, to movie quotes... and so we'd be remiss not to mention Dave Chalker's warlord powers).

In today's special feature, we decided to reverse-engineer the process, creating 4th Edition D&D powers based on movie quotes.

It goes without saying (but we'll say it anyway), these are hardly game-legal. But it's April 1st... and if anyone can convince their DMs to let you playtest the following—we say, more powers to you!

Predator

I Ain't Got Time to Bleed Utility"You're hit, man... you're bleeding!" Daily
Immediate Reaction Personal
Trigger: You take damageEffect: Gain temporary hit points equal to the triggering damage.

Monty Python, Holy Grail

It’s Only a Flesh Wound Fighter Utility 2
You are able to fight on, even through agonizing wounds. You can also continue peppering your opponents with witty remarks while you bleed at them.
Encounter Martial
Immediate Interrupt Personal
Trigger: An enemy damages you and you drop to 0 hit points or fewerEffect: You are dying, but do not fall unconscious. You are able to stand (probably on one leg) but can take no actions other than insulting the triggering enemy while you are dying (and hopping). In addition, whenever an enemy moves adjacent to you for the rest of the encounter, you can threaten to either bleed at them or bite their knees.

Princess Bride

I’m Not Left Handed Either! Dread Pirate Attack 5
Just when your enemy thinks they have you in a bad place (like a cliff edge), you switch your weapon to your other hand, show some fancy footwork, press the attack while showing your superior skill, and then knock your foe out.
Daily Martial, Sleep, Weapon
Immediate Reaction Melee weapon
Requirement: You must be wielding a one-handed weapon (preferably a rapier) and have your other hand free.
Trigger: An enemy bloodies youEffect: You switch your weapon to your other hand with a flourish and make the following attack.Target: The triggering enemyAttack: Dexterity vs. ACEffect: Before the attack, you push the target 5 squares, then shift adjacent to the target (using Acrobatics or Athletics, if possible… especially if you can do a spinning somersault off of a bar, which gains a +10 bonus to the check).Hit: The target falls unconscious (save ends).Special: If the target is a Spaniard, it takes a –5 penalty to saving throws against this effect.

The Matrix

Dodge This! Ranger Attack 9
You slide up behind your enemy while it’s distracted and gloating about its superiority, and attack from "up-close-and-personal" range. The attack is even more harmful to agents… uh, constructs.
Daily Martial, Weapon
Immediate Interrupt Ranged weapon
Requirement: You must be wielding a ranged weapon.
Trigger: An enemy within 4 squares of you targets an ally (who you like to call "the one") with a ranged attackEffect: Before the attack, you shift adjacent to the triggering enemy as a free action and make a Stealth check with a +10 bonus to the check against its Perception. If you succeed, you make the following attack (without provoking an attack of opportunity).Target: The triggering enemyAttack: Dexterity vs. ACHit: 2[W] + Dexterity modifier damage.Effect: If the target is a construct, the attack instead deals 6[W] damage and you score an automatic critical hit against the target.

Pirates of the Caribbean

And Really Bad Eggs Rogue Utility 16
Drink up me ‘earties. Yo ho.
Daily Charm, Martial
Minor Action Close burst 5
Requirement: You must have a broken compass.
Target: You and each creature in burst
Effect: You gain a +10 bonus on the next d20 roll you make until the start of your next turn. Each creature in the burst other than you must drink from a flask or bottle of rum as a free action. Those who do gain 15 temporary hit points and grant combat advantage until the start of your next turn. Any target that does not partake must succeed on a saving throw; on a failed save, the target cannot take standard actions until the end of your next turn.

Of course, we're missing a few movie quotes. Even just taking a look at the AFI's Top 100 quotes of all time, and you'll see some obvious candidates ("I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore" sounds like a teleport power to us… but we'd be hard-pressed to come up with mechanics for "Love means never having to say you're sorry.")